Shit. Sorry, ya'll.

Sometimes I don't feel like keeping a blog; other times I do. You're gonna have to deal with me being wishy-washy, which according to a dude last night, is one of my least sexy traits.

My birthday is tomorrow. Yesterday I got a package from my family that included a card. On the inside, my mother wrote "OMG THIS IS SO YOU!!!!!"

 It's true. If ever a greeting card could be said to embody an individual, this would be mine.

My Music Television

Today was intended as day one of Job Hunt 2k10, but after another plumbing malfunction, I decided to take it moderately easy, finish up a few things around my apt, run to Target to get more basic necessities, then come home and finish cleaning up my slave drive. While doing so, I watched the 100 or so music videos I've downloaded. Back in the day when music videos were still heavily relevant, I dreamed of one day being a music video director-slash-photographer-slash-videographer-slash-socialite like the world had never seen but I think those days are waning currently (at best). Lady Gaga is trying to revitalize the form but I think its already decaying. I've decided to compile a list of the prettiest, sexiest music videos of recent memory. Commentary after the list.

Katy Perry "California Gurls"

This video finds Katy joining the pop pantheon of Hot Famous Girls Who Can't Dance, next to Lady Gaga and Kelis. Dancing is so over in the new decade, ya'll. That's how Britney and Janet will grab hold of us in 2020.

I read an article recently about Janelle Monae that put it pretty bluntly: its tough being Ke$ha in a Lady Gaga world. I think the article summarizes a larger cultural shift we're going through by putting faces on the Current Underdog and Current Alpha Male, and its worthy for magazine copy but falls short: Katy Perry should have been included.  Does anyone besides Russell Brand like her? Also, that would make the Current Underdog a two-headed figure which is at once more pragmatic and more mythological.

Let me say I don't especially feel one way or the other about the woman; to me she's just another pop tart with a pretty face and a nice body and a few cloying pop hooks. I started to notice a while ago that, as a culture, we dislike her, at least the people I know do. There isn't one thing in particular people harp on her for: sometimes its her background, sometimes its her vocals and lyrics, sometimes its her style, sometimes its her personal life. I suppose my generation has always had enough pop stars to mock, but now--in the wake of an ugly, very public Britney implosion and the great rise of the flawless and chiseled Haus of Gaga--we're realizing pop stars can be held to higher standards and live up to them. That a pop star can really be as savvy as we are and perform on the VMAs and do lavish, ridiculous things we could only dream of and knowingly wink at us the whole time.

That said, I love this video. I love it so much I downloaded it, and while I may download any music and any porn, I'm very, very picky about my music videos. The candyland presented is very well-done, and while it may clash massively in terms of its theory (men loving women, men vs. women, women winning over patriarchy using patriarchal tools, candy-as-weapons vs. candy-as-assholes, etc), I don't mind not thinking for a few minutes. Also, I love candy and girlish color palettes so this thing is a bit like a wet dream of mine. However, Will Cotton needs to sue for copyright infringement.

 Will Cotton is often derided as being sexist and misogynistic since his paintings basically amount to women as candy, along with more superficial criticisms of our culture. I believe in heady, thought-provoking art as much as the next art fag does but I also support banal, mindless, pretty art, art that does not require a viewer to think too much but that requires him to stare slack-jawed at its beauty. I've never spoken to Cotton in person or read anything other than a fast quote about his work but I choose to believe he follows the latter train of thought, and sometimes I think I should feel the same way about my pop stars so I don't mind loving this video.

Fun fact about Ms. Perry: her cat is named Kitty Purry.

aaaaaaannnnnnndddddddddd we're back

So, guys, I'm back. We all decided last winter that Gold Digger was dead because, at least personally, I was writing in character (or something?) and I had outgrown that character: I couldn't keep dismissing the world so flippantly, I couldn't keep pretending that all that mattered to me was visual and sexual and visceral and easily summarized. Granted, those things are VERY important to me but now, after the hell I've been through, I can't keep pretending the things I love are that dismissive.

And moreover, I haven't written much in the last year and I need to be more proactive, more disciplined. Is my life what I want it to be at 26? Hell to the naw. In the interest of being more driven, I want to blog a bit more and now only write about things I want to say something about. That's not to say this blog will now turn into one with a serious, academic tone at all, it just means I want to seriously think about popular culture in a stimulating way in the hopes of once again stimulating my mental acuity and ethic. So I'm sorta hoping with the newly christened Your Biggest Fan I'll become the lovechild of Oprah Winfrey and Lady Gaga. Or something? I won't be as charitable as Oprah; I'll just be like Lady Gaga, only more articulate and without an affected, pseudo-Old-Hollywood intonation, and hopefully, I'll soon have a body as hot as hers.

FYI: the name of the blog is a lyric from a Lady Gaga song but that in no way is to mean I'm a little monster, or whatever you want to call her rabid fans. I just have a thing for stupidly simple romantic wordplay.  It was a toss-up between this lyric and a lyric from a St. Vincent song and "Paparazzi" won because its more popular. And I'm a whore like that.